Thursday, July 27, 2017

Jack Christopher Goodin

So much has happened since my last blog post until present day, so rather than trying to catch up and post all the things I missed I am just going to start fresh. My desire to blog is simply so that I can remember all the details from this life I feel so incredibly blessed to lead because I am learning time passes all too quickly and my memory is not at all what it used to be (which isn't saying much as I always seemed to have a poor memory). In any event, since my last blog post we found out we were pregnant, found out it was another boy, and had him. So here is his birth story, 10 months after he was born. While I wish I would've written this days after it happened so that I didn't miss any details, I suppose 4 months later is better than 4 years (I wrote this at 4 months but am not posting it until 10 months).

The entire time I was pregnant I felt like baby #2 was going to be born big, active (not laid back like big brother Luca), and early. I just had a feeling he would be early- not weeks early but I just felt that he would be born before his due date. I didn't have a specific day/time frame in mind. I just thought I would be surprised if he came on or after his due date, which was September 18, 2016.

This time around my parents lived here, which proved to be a much more relaxing detail than before. When I was pregnant with Luca, I felt very anxious about his arrival because my parents had tried their best to guess and plan trips according to when they thought he would arrive. When he was late, I remember crying in the doctor's office because I was afraid he would come so late that both my mom (who came for a month) and my dad (who planned a one week trip for the week after my due date) would miss being there and meeting him. So to have them both living here, not trying to guess when he would come and when they should plan their trip was a lot easier. 

However, my sister Sarah was still planning on dropping all the things and driving to be here just like when I had Luca. But this time around she had a different job where if I texted and said "he's coming" she may not have been able to just get in her car and drive here (though she wouldn't need to pack because she had a "go bag" already with her when she left her house, just in case). While she didn't necessarily make me feel pressured, she did let me know times I could go into labor that would work best for her schedule. While I knew she was mostly kidding, I also knew that she was not really kidding because she wanted to be able to be here for the arrival of baby. All that to say, I tried really hard to pay attention to things that were happening and would text her all the details so she could make an informed decision on her own. 

At my appointment on September 7, my doctor checked me and I think I was 1 cm dilated. He told me that he was the on call doctor that weekend so if I went into labor he would be there to deliver baby. I prayed that he would come that weekend because, to be honest, I REALLY wanted my doctor to be the one to deliver him. My doctor is the best doctor I have ever had and I just really wanted him to be there. While I didn't go into labor that weekend, I definitely felt like it would happen soon. I am not sure why, nothing significant happened or changed I just felt like it would happen soon. 

My next appointment was September 12, I was 2 cm dilated and my doctor said that he thought I would deliver soon, that I wouldn't make it for my weekly appointment the following week because he guessed I would deliver before then. He also let me know that he was the on call doctor for Thursday, September 15. So I started praying that I would go into labor on Thursday. I also added to my prayer that I would like to have the baby in the morning, and not labor all night like I had with Luca. With Luca, active labor started at 8 pm and he was born at 6:25 the next morning. Since we started that newborn journey on no sleep, I was hoping this time around we could  at least get a good nights sleep before active labor started. (It should be noted that I was sleeping REALLY well all the way up until baby was born. I slept all night and didn't really struggle with insomnia or discomfort. I attribute this pretty significant details to my chiropractors who are AMAZING.)

After my appointment on Monday, I felt like the baby would come soon. I worked on Tuesday (where I finished all the work I had for the month) and after I finished working I texted Sarah and told her that I felt the baby was going to come soon. She kept asking if that meant that she should come. I told her how I felt, what was happening and that she had to make the decision to come because while I wanted to say "yes! come!" it didn't feel like my place to tell her. Mostly because all I kept thinking was "what if I tell her to come and then baby isn't born until next week?"Ultimately, she decided that she would come. That timing worked well for her and her job, and based on how I was feeling I felt pretty confident that she was making the right choice. She and I both just kept praying that we were right in our guesses. I was contracting pretty consistently on Tuesday, though they did stop when I stopped moving. I contract a lot during my pregnancies, I started contracting with Jack around 22 weeks and didn't ever really stop.

Sarah arrived Tuesday night and when we woke up on Wednesday my contractions had slowed down, even more so than on Tuesday. I started to feel a little bit worried since Sarah was here and all the action seemed to have stopped completely. We decided that we would go walk around Target and Home Goods so that I could continue to move and see if my contractions would pick back up again. My contractions did start again and got stronger as well. We started timing them while browsing the (air conditioned) stores but they were pretty far apart and weren't as consistent. When we got home I tried to continue walking around the house, and I also did quite a few squats. I think I thought that might help- because you know, gravity. My mom stopped by after she finished work and hung out with us for a bit. She went home to rest because she thought I would go into active labor that night and she wanted to get sleep before this baby came. Lee got home from work and my contractions remained the same, fairly consistent and strong while moving but stopped once I sat down.

The contractions seemed to continue even while I was laying down but weren't consistent enough to time. So, we all decided to head to bed a bit earlier than usual so that we could try and rest since we felt like he would be coming soon. I went to bed thinking that my contractions would slow down while I slept and I would wake up in the morning and go into active labor then. Wishful thinking I guess. We all went to bed, Lee and Sarah slept but I did not. My contractions didn't seem to stop once I got in bed. I started timing them by myself and they became more and more consistent. Around 1 am, I woke Lee and told him that my contractions hadn't stopped and seemed to be pretty consistent. I called my mom and told her that they should head over shortly. My dad was going to stay at our house with Luca and my mom was going to come to the hospital for the delivery with Sarah. I got up, got dressed, freshened up a bit in an effort to not look like a complete disaster this time around (no luck there unfortunately). I finished packing up our hospital bag and headed downstairs. My contractions were getting more intense but still pretty bearable. My doctor told me to head to the hospital when my contractions were 5 minutes apart so I labored on my couch for a while.

My contractions felt pretty bearable in the beginning. I was able to talk and laugh in between them because I had around 7 minutes in between and the contractions didn't seem to last as long. When I labored with Luca, I never had a break in between contractions where I could talk or laugh. I am not sure if it was because it was my first baby or what. I also felt A LOT of pressure when I had Luca. This time around I felt like my labor was pretty by the book. I laid and Sarah and my mom timed my contractions while Lee laid on the floor on his iPad and trying to rest. Sarah and my mom would watch my belly and tell me when a contraction was about to happen/was happening. They talked about how my stomach looked and how it would start to slant and look really crooked during my contractions. I remember hearing them saying to one another "Oh, here it comes, do you see it? Can you see?" I obviously knew when one was coming, but I didn't always get to tell them once one started as I couldn't really talk as they intensified so it was helpful they were so focused and could see them start for timing purposes. Once my contractions started to get closer together and last longer, I was no longer able to talk or laugh in between. While I labor, I get very quiet. I was the same way when I had Luca. I like to listen to what is happening around me, but I keep my eyes closed and don't speak. Once my contractions hit 5 minutes apart (which was around 5 am), we all left for the hospital. Lee and I drove in our car and Sarah and my mom followed.

It seemed like once we got in the car my contractions got even more intense and they also got even closer together. I no longer had any breaks in between them, I went from contracting to contracting with maybe a 10 second break in between. On the drive I remember Lee spotting a runner on the side of the road and made some comment about her, then he asked "did you see her? What is she doing? Why is she running there?" My super quiet husband decided to talk quite a bit about a random runner while I was having a big, painful contraction. I quickly said, "please stop talking." After my contraction slowed down I apologized and told him politely that I prefer it to be quiet while I am contracting. I feel bad even remembering this instance because I feel like I was rude, but then I remember that I was having a baby and I extend myself a little grace.

We arrived at the hospital around 5:30 am. All I remember thinking was "there better be a 'mother in labor' parking spot up front", thankfully there was. With Luca, we had just done a tour and class in the hospital so I remembered where to go and what to do since it was all fresh in my mind. This time, I pre-registered online but when we arrived I couldn't really remember where to go. We made it up to the maternity floor and I went into a triage room. I was 6 cm dilated which felt like a huge relief for me because when I had Luca I was only 2 cm when we got to the hospital! Unfortunately for another mother, I bumped her and got her room because I was further along.

This is the point in the process where they ask if you want an epidural. When I had Luca, I wanted so badly to do it without an epidural. This time was no different, in fact, since it was my second time giving birth I felt more confident that I could do it. However, when we got to the hospital my contractions were so intense I had 0 breaks in between. So, I said I thought I would like the epidural. By the time I got to my room I remember asking the nurses if they could ask the anesthesiologist if he could run to my room (which makes me laugh every time I remember because I am pretty sure that is all I said the whole time, pre-epidural of course). It felt like an eternity until he finally came. I remember feeling eyes watching me while I contracted. I opened my eyes at one point and those eyes I felt were Sarah's. She was staring at me like I have never seen before- she looked frightened, perplexed, sad all balled up into a frozen statue looking at me with wide eyes. With Luca, she arrived after I got the epidural so she never saw this part of the process. I asked her afterwards if she no longer wanted to have babies after seeing all the parts this time around (she said she still wanted to have babies, for those wondering. All the praise hands for more grand babies, mom!).

While the anesthesiologist was talking me through the epidural he was listing all the possible things that could go wrong, and he wasn't doing so in the kindest of ways. With Luca, our anesthesiologist was wonderful. He walked me through all the steps, was kind and helpful, and didn't say list all the scary reasons (that I already knew and was terrified about) while actually administering it to me. So as the anesthesiologist was listing all the super scary side effects I rebuked them in the name of Jesus, out loud. I prayed silently while getting it with Luca, but since this doctor seemed to speak all the things I was worried about aloud, I felt it necessary to speak against them out loud. After the epidural set in, I felt much better.

My doctor arrived around 7 am and popped in to see me before he went to put his stuff down and begin his shift. I was SO EXCITED to see him and know that he would be the one to deliver this baby. The Lord heard my prayer and we got the best doctor ever to help deliver our baby. The Lord also answered my prayer about going into labor in the morning, though maybe next time I will be more specific and say mid to late morning after a good nights rest. Lesson learned.

I was feeling really good, they came to flip me at one point and when they flipped me to my left side baby's heart rate started to drop. So they flipped me back to my right side and put an oxygen mask on me. That wasn't ideal and I certainly didn't like hearing that his heart rate drop on the monitor but thankfully it got back up.

Around 8:30 am, I started to feel a lot of pressure and like I needed to push. They checked me again and I was 10 cm. My doctor came back in and broke my water and he told me that I'd have my baby in 15 minutes.

I was so nervous about pushing. All of a sudden I started to gag and felt my body start to shake uncontrollably. I am not sure if it was the nerves or my body going into shock? Either way it wasnt pleasant. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to push while also vomiting. Thankfully, my body calmed down and I was able to start pushing without the body shakes/vomiting.

I started pushing with the nurse, and my doctor came in very quickly after I started pushing. In fact, it almost feels like he was there the whole time I pushed because it went by so fast. Once my doctor came in and took over, it became a much different experience for me (at least mentally). He told me when to push and how to push each time and told me why he needed that kind of push. He told me to slow down, to pick it up, and he encouraged me. As I pushed I had Lee beside me and to be honest I don't remember where Sarah and my mom were standing (it all happened so much faster this time!). I do vividly remember knowing exactly when I needed to push this time, I felt so much pressure and a few times they had to tell me to stop pushing. With Luca I relied on them telling me when to push, and this time I felt when I needed to push by myself and told them. Once the baby's head was out, my doctor told me not to push anymore and he guided the baby the rest of the way out.  I sat up as much as I could and I watched him deliver my baby, my sweet, sweet boy. It was so incredible to watch, to see our boy emerge into this world. As soon as he came out, I wept. I couldn't believe that he was ours (crying now just remembering). My whole pregnancy I was so worried that I wouldn't love this baby because of how much I loved Luca. I thought "how do you have another baby and love him as much as your first?" As soon as I saw him, I knew. He captivated my heart in a way I never could have thought or imagined. He was perfect. He was beautiful. He was ours.

He wasn't crying though, so that was a little worrisome. The nurse said "he needs to be crying more" so I remember tearfully saying "cry buddy, we need you to cry" and then he did. Praise the Lord!

They took him, cleaned him and my doctor delivered my after birth. With Luca I remember having to push for this part, but this time my doctor pushed on my stomach and did it all himself. I sat there just staring (and crying) at our newest little love. When he and I were done they brought him over to me and laid him on my chest and the nurse instantly got him to latch and he started to nurse. It all happened so fast and I had no idea she was going to do that. But she did and it was amazing.

I dont really remember the timing of it all. Partly because I am trying to write this all down so many months later, but also because with Luca there was a clock right in front of me while I labored and while I pushed. This time there wasn't. But after trying hard to remember (and texting Sarah for some help), here is the timeline: I started active labor at 1 am, got to the hospital at 5:30 am, and Jack was born at 8:52 am. I pushed for around 15 minutes total.


We (I) had a really hard time deciding on a name this time around. I am not sure why it was so hard for me. We had a few names we liked and agreed on, but I felt very hesitant committing to one. When he was born and I saw his face I immediately thought, "oh he looks like a Jack". It still took me our entire hospital stay to commit to that name, but I can safely say now (10 months later) that it feels perfect. We picked his middle name easily, Christopher after Lee's dad.

Jack Christopher Goodin, born September 15, 2016 at 8:52 am. He weighed 7 lbs 14 oz and measured 21 inches long.





Things I want to remember:

The role my doctor played was amazing, he was a great coach and exactly what I needed. When you have your first baby you have no idea whats ahead, but when you have your second- you know exactly what is about to happen and I was terrified. Also, I was afraid of pushing because after I had Luca I had a lot of internal pain (for 2 years). So I was afraid of that happening again. I had barely any pain after Jack was born and I attribute it all, 100% to my doctor. I was able to get up and walk around, change Jack's diapers, shower- all things I couldn't do after we had Luca.


A sweet, thoughtful friend called me on Wednesday morning. I had told her that I was contracting and that I thought baby might be coming very soon. She called me to check in and pray over me. Which was so kind on multiple levels, and meant so much.

Luca and Jack's first meet. Separate post to follow for that.

The day before Jack was born, Lee's job sent out a memo that they were offering six weeks of PAID parental leave to all employees. GOD IS SO GOOD. So Lee was the very first employee to use it and he took 6 weeks off after Jack was born and it was INCREDIBLE. Especially since the day after we got home from the hospital I got mastitis, plus it was so helpful to have him there to help with Luca and his struggle with the transition. Also because I started work again at the beginning of October (since I work from home and have very flexible hours), so Lee was home to watch the boys so I was able to ease back into working (and continue getting a pay check). Still can't believe this happened!


Tuesday, September 14th 


(last night reading to Luca before bed without Jack out of the womb- "I love you THIS MUCH")



 Wednesday, September 15th 




He is here!!!! 


















Finally going home :) 





(and one more because I love myself a comparison photo)









2 comments:

  1. Ugh! Crying with you as I read this. What a beautiful story. Ps, totally going to need the hookup with your doctor!!

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  2. Tears!! Love love love. So glad you wrote this down. Beautiful life, beautiful boys, 1-amazing-gift-giver-God. xo

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