joy.

     "We are going to have a baby!"                         "I am going to be a mom!"

Those two thoughts cross my mind at least a million times in one day. Every single time I feel baby G move, I smile from ear to ear because I am reminded of the sweet miracle growing inside me. I literally sit and watch my stomach all day long. And if someone else is home, I shout and say "oh my word! you have to see this!" because it is so unreal watching him (especially since he is so big now) flip around inside of me. (I am going to miss that- seeing him and feeling him move around inside of me. I know that it will mean that I will get to see him and watch him move live, but I will still miss our intimate moments each day where it was just him and me, and I was his only audience member watching the shows that he put on.)

I am getting so eager to meet him. I can't wait to hold him, to see his perfect little features, to snuggle with him, to soothe him, to love him, to watch him grow and change, I can't wait for it all! I am so excited! If you asked me a month ago if I was ready, I would have said "I am ok if he stays in there a little while longer" because I didn't feel ready- and was a bit afraid of it all. (see how that has changed here) But now? I am 150% excited and ready and can't wait!! We have everything we need for him once he arrives. Everything is set up and ready to go- now all we need is our boy! Sometimes I will walk by his crib and turn his mobile on and just listen to the sweet lullaby and think how soon I will be turning it on to help him fall asleep. I get a little emotional when I do that.

In fact, I get emotional a lot. I know I am hormonal, but the joy that you feel while waiting for your child to be born- it's indescribable. Each step of the way it builds and builds, and now I feel like I am about to burst with joy. I love this little boy so much already!

It is overwhelming when I think about all the blessings in my life. The other day I was driving in the car and all of a sudden I was hit with "I am SO blessed!" I have such an amazing husband, who loves me and loves our little guy so much, and he shows it every single day. I have such an amazing support system around me- near and far. I serve a mighty God who is always there and always provides. And I have a miracle growing inside of me that I have dreamt about my entire life. I got super emotional, thanking the Lord for all of these blessings. Sometimes I can't believe He blessed me with such a wonderful life.

The amount of joy that I have in my heart- there isn't a term to describe just how big it is. The best I can come up with is that it is overflowing. I can not wait for this baby to arrive- I am sure once he's here, my heart will literally explode with love and joy.