t, lee, and babies g: head over heels in love.

I had my gender ultrasound at the doctor's office today. At this ultrasound appointment, they measured and checked on the baby's growth and made sure that everything was there and functioning that needed to be. It was the most amazing appointment thus far (I am almost certain I will say that after each one).

First, I must admit that yesterday I was really emotional about going to the doctor today because I knew I had to go alone. Lee only has a certain number of days off and he is trying to save as many as he can for when the baby comes. I knew that going in, and that is one of the reasons why we made a gender ultrasound appointment on a Saturday three weeks ago. I was feeling ok with that, for the most part. But when I woke up yesterday morning I just felt really sad that he couldn't come with me and of course, with all the hormones, I knew I was being irrational and needed to pull myself together but just couldn't seem to do so. I prayed throughout the day and listened to as much worship music as I could fit into my day to try and lift my spirits. It was a hard day for sure, but I must say that today, I woke up with an insurmountable amount of strength. I wasn't sad that I had to go alone, in fact I don't even remember thinking twice about it. During the ultrasound though, while the tech was measuring and searching and looking at different parts of our boys body and organs, I became somewhat overwhelmed with worry. What if she didn't find what she was looking for? All the what if's just kept coming in my mind. I was praying, continuously, defeating those worries with the presence of the Lord. And I felt at peace. I am so thankful for the Lord's strength, because going to that appointment and waiting to hear her say "he looks great!" was something I couldn't do by myself. I wasn't strong enough, but He was. And I wasn't alone at that appointment, because He was right beside me. Reassuring me that everything was going to be ok.

I left the doctor's feeling so full of love. How is it possible to love like this? To love like this for someone I have yet to meet? I couldn't stop smiling- I felt so excited, proud, full of love, and I still feel that way- hours later. I stopped after my appointment to pick up a sandwich (chicken salad- surprised?), and I deemed it necessary to show the guy who took my order an ultrasound picture of our son and told him our great news. I couldn't contain the joy I felt inside- it was pouring out of me! I can not wait to hold our boy, to see his fingers and toes in person. To look into his eyes and tell him to his face just how much I love him. I honestly, in this moment am uncertain as to how I can fit any more love into my heart for him. Because I love him so much already! I think a parent's heart must just grow and grow and grow- and never stop growing. Because otherwise, I think our hearts may actually explode. Mine feels like it might today- and I am only halfway to meeting him! :)

Here are a few ultrasound pictures from the appointment today. I obviously think he is the most perfect baby I have ever seen. Because, well, he is perfect in every way already. (I know, they say Goodwin. The tech typed it inaccurately but fixed it.)